While November IS my favorite month of the year, the last two weeks of October right up until the week of Thanksgiving are my busiest of the year. And this year has seemed more overwhelming as I’ve ever seen it. So tonight, since The Hubs had the late shift and I have an evening to myself, I picked up some books from the library, and then swung by his store and grabbed a six back of Shiner Cheer from his cooler. It’s a favorite of mine that just came available in the last week or so–and it’s perfect for showerbeer.
You heard that right. Showerbeer.
With a depression/severe anxiety episode comes the need to cope. This does not happen right away–it takes a really long time (and lots of help and support!) to figure out what works. But, once I started healing, certain things started to stick. I started getting stronger, but bad days happen even to healthy people–and I had to find a way to deal with those bad days.
Journaling has always been a habit, since I was really young. It’s gotten more regular as I’ve gotten older, and it is my way of sorting out all of the funk screaming in my head. There is so much noise up there. Writing helps to work it out until it makes sense (often times, that’s where these essays come from).
When we moved to Dallas, I started doing yoga as a way to get out of the house. I instantly fell in love with the way it not only transformed my body, but brought peace to my mind.
Still, there are some days where driving to class causes more anxiety than it is worth. And once I get there, even laying quiet in savasana is torture because my mind.just.will.not.SHUT.UP! On those days, my focus is all over the place and I usually leave more frustrated than I came.
On those days, I have showerbeer.
It sounds so fratty, right? I know. I’m pretty sure that’s where I got the idea. Some dude bro on Twitter.
But, If you think about it, it’s not that much different than wine in a tub. It’s just…beer…standing up.
And you know what? It totally works. For me, it’s meditation. It’s where I find quiet. I turn on a chill mix of blues and acoustic pop, and I just let the hot water and steam melt all the stress out of me. I even took some dry erase markers in with me once to try and write on the tiles, but it turns out those only work when the tiles are dry. Darn. I get a little self-care mixed in too–which, for someone with depression and anxiety, is always important.
Now, showerbeer might not be your thing. It’s not for everyone. That’s not really my point here. What I want you to take away from this is–find YOUR quiet place. Do you find it in a pew in your local church? Great, go pray. Do you find it in your car on the gravel back roads? Gas up your pick-up and go for a drive! Just be safe, ok? Do you find your quiet playing an instrument or dancing or singing? I am super jealous of you, but play the shit out of that thing or dance your heart out or sing until your throat is sore (ok…maybe not that hard…be careful). Seek your own quiet. Away from the people, away from the noise. Do what YOU need to do for YOU for 15 minutes, an hour, a day (mental health days are a thing for a reason)…until you can go back to your regular routine. I find that if you take a few moments like this every so often, regularly…then you won’t wear out as easily. Allow yourself to recharge. Our batteries are not infinite, and that is ok. No one should expect that of us, and if they do, they are toxic.